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“信任之所以重要，是因为它太基础了，以至于人们常常忽视了它才是问题的关键。如果你能在每一次互动中都意识到它的重要性，那将是一个巨大的优势。” —— 雷蒙迪

在职场中，信任非常非常重要。一个简单的道理是：如果你的上司不信任你，他/她就不会将重要的工作交给你。失去信任，也就失去了承担更多责任和发展的可能性。

（而且据不可靠统计，70%的人离职不是因为能力不足，而是因为与上司关系不好，导致无法继续共事。）

幸运的是，这篇文章提供了一个切实可行的信任方程式，帮助我们识别和诊断信任问题，指导我们如何修复信任。理解职场关系，才能更好地处理职场关系。祝阅读愉快～

中文正文：

安妮·雷蒙迪遇到了难题。她管理的两个人相处不来，这严重影响了工作进展。在她与他们各自私下交谈时，发现他们有着相同的目标和愿望。但当他们在一起时，却对每件事都意见不合。他们会为最小的事争执，避免一起度过时间，并且总是急于对对方做出最坏的假设，尽管他们是同一个团队的成员。

雷蒙迪——如今她的履历可谓星光璀璨：eBay 的产品总监、SurveyMonkey 的营销副总裁、TaskRabbit 的首席收入官、Zendesk 的运营高级副总裁，还有 Earnin 的首席运营官。然而，面对当前的困境，她不知道该如何是好，于是她咨询了自己的高管教练。

教练直截了当地指出了问题所在：他们之间缺乏信任。

“我立刻想到，‘哦，没错，当然是这样。’这让我对一切都有了清晰的认识，”她说道。为了寻找解决方案，她回想起多年前偶然发现的一本书——《信任方程式》（The Trust Equation），作者是 Steven Drozdeck 和 Lyn Fisher。这本书提供了一个公式，帮助我们理解人类如何判断该信任谁以及信任到什么程度：

信任（Trust）=可信度（Credibility）+ 可靠度（Reliability）+ 真实度（Authenticity）/ 重视自身利益的程度（Perception of Self Interest）

本质上，你对一个人的信任，其实就是他们在某件事上的可信度、长期以来展示出的可靠性，以及你对他们作为一个人的真实度的总和，再除以你感觉他们有多为自身利益考虑。

雷蒙迪就是用这种视角，观察了她同事间的互动，帮助他们找出了信任何时何地开始流失，并且协助他们一步步修复彼此间的裂痕。

自那以后，她深入思考了如何将信任方程式应用于科技初创企业，因为在这些企业中，信任是不可或缺、生死攸关的。不仅合伙人之间的猜疑能导致致命后果，而且初创公司的环境变化莫测，员工需要迅速适应新角色和挑战，同时，总有新成员的加入。

在这种高压环境下，没有时间去怀疑或被怀疑——这个方程为我们提供了解决方案。如今，雷蒙迪已经身为斯坦福商学院的常驻讲师，她分享了自己如何运用这个方程，在问题尚未显现之前就将其解决的经历。

一、变量

思考一下你职场中的核心人脉，仔细琢磨等式中的各个因素。你认识的这些人在这些方面的表现究竟如何？

二、可信度

你若发现某人似乎拥有足够丰富的知识、经验以及对某个角色的深刻理解，能够出色地完成职责，那么这个人在你眼中就是值得信赖的。这一点通常可以通过他们过去所担任的职位、从中吸取的教训、提供的深刻见解以及他们所使用的专业术语来最好地体现。

在特定的角色、特定的场合、特定的时刻，人们展现出的可信度，这是他们独有的特质。

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

当人们在组织内部跳槽到新岗位，或是接管现有团队进行管理时。
每当有人尝试一件新事物，或者在探索一些前所未有之事时，他们正走在创新的道路上。
当一个人从优秀的工程师、设计师或营销人员的角色突然被提拔为管理岗位，这时就需要展现出领导力和处理人际关系的才能。特别是如果下属对管理者缺乏信任，这种情况往往会造成很多问题。

“人们追求与公司同步快速成长，但若不谨慎，这可能会损害他们的可信度，”雷蒙迪提醒道。“若你正处于这种快速上升的轨道，就必须在每个关键节点主动重塑你的可信度。如果你开始怀疑领导层的能力，不妨思考一下，是否是可信度上出现了缺口。他们应该采取哪些行动来证明自己的可信度呢？”

如何应对这个问题：

不要被可信度问题困扰。如果你是新手上路，记得保持耐心。在这个过程中，依靠自己的可靠和真诚。“坚守承诺，确保按时完成任务，不要隐藏自己的不足或虚张声势，”她建议说。“同时，要让人看到你在积极地建立可信度，无论是通过阅读相关领域的书籍，聘请教练，还是应用你收到的反馈。向他人展示你正在努力缩小差距。”

管理团队，尤其是接手一个新团队时，关键的一步是深入了解团队成员的心声。问问他们，什么对他们来说至关重要，他们期待与你如何协作，他们对你有哪些期望，以及他们心中渴望实现的目标是什么。

如果你接手了一个团队，不妨多问一些过去他们觉得可以改进的地方。是否存在哪些不足？他们希望在哪些方面看到变化？通过提出一些开放式的问题，你不仅能消除团队成员对你能力的疑虑，还能激发他们对你即将带来的新变化的期待和兴奋。

“召集所有和你聊过的人，开个会，然后诚恳地说：‘我已经听取了大家的意见，咱们心照不宣，知道哪些东西是咱们要坚守的，哪些是大家期望改变的。

接下来，我会这样来优先处理这些事情……’”雷蒙迪如是说。“如果你被提拔为团队的领头人，是因为领导层想要探索新的方向，那就要坦诚地告诉大家这一点，以及这个决策是如何形成的。别让人家自己瞎猜。要像这样提前说明：‘我被引进来，是为了用一种全新的方式去实现 X 目标，而且他们认为我的 X 方面的专长能够派上用场。’”

相反，如果你对某人的怀疑源于其可信度不足，可以在私下里委婉地提起这个话题：“你是如何做出决策的？在这种情况下，你运用了哪些经验？你是如何在这个领域进行自我提升的？”别忘了加上一句：“我有什么可以帮到你的吗？”往往你会发现，人们的可信度远远超出了你根据他们的背景所做出的预判。

三、可靠性

你若遇到一个言行一致的人，那他就是值得信赖的。你会觉得，无论什么事情交给他，都能放心。事情顺利也好，遇到问题也罢，他都会勇于承担责任。他会从错误中学习，及时纠正。他的行为、反应速度和工作质量始终保持一致。

一个人可能极其聪明、知识渊博，并且相处起来令人愉快，但如果他们不能按时交付工作或达到预期的标准，他们很快就会失去信任。

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

领导者忙得不可开交，无暇一一复查工作，所以每个人都得能独当一面，自己拿主意做决策。但现实是，并非每个人都能做到这样。
错过截止日期对于创业公司能否成功至关重要。在大企业，可靠性往往有后援。一旦你跌倒，总有人在旁边伸出援手，而且截止日期和目标也是灵活可调的。但小团队的情况就大不相同了。
许多初创团队的元老级员工，他们的投入程度往往不及创始人，有时甚至觉得在创业公司工作与其他职位并无二致，这导致在关键时刻，他们往往无法及时出现，为公司提供所需的支持。
很多初创团队的核心成员，他们的角色至关重要，几乎成了各自职责的关键节点。一旦他们缺席，整个工作流程可能就会陷入停滞。因此，他们绝不能缺席。

如何应对这个问题：

当可靠性出现裂痕，立刻行动至关重要。千万别让两个以上的项目在没有沟通的情况下悄然滑过。这次谈话中，你得做到

确认双方从一开始就对期望达成了共识，
阐述问题对团队或目标的影响（而不仅仅是对你个人的影响），以及
和团队一起头脑风暴，探讨下一次如何做得更好。整个过程中，记得避免使用指责的字眼，保持沟通的和谐。

下面举个例子：“嘿，我们聊聊咱们那款产品发货比预期晚的事情吧。你当时是不是也想着 3 月 15 号就能发出去？我想我们得好好聊聊，因为错过了那个日期，我们的工程师们不得不牺牲周末来加班。我们是不是可以头脑风暴一下，想想办法，避免以后再次发生这样的状况。”

在这些对话的深入交流中，你可能会意识到，背后可能隐藏着一个更大的障碍或系统性问题，这正是导致期限被错过的原因——或许，这并不完全是对方的过失，而是你意外地挖掘出了一些更为关键和需要优先解决的问题。

不要让指责遮蔽了你的视野，忽略了这些可能。“说到底，人与人之间的大多数信任问题，其根源往往在于沟通不畅，而这，其实是可以轻易解决的，”雷蒙迪如是说。

她说：“考虑到所有这些因素，对于你面试的每一位求职者，尽可能准确地评估他们的可靠性是至关重要的。这可不简单，因为可靠性在面试中是最难衡量的品质——它往往需要经过一段时间才能真正显现出来。”

根据雷蒙迪的观点，以下方法虽然不是完美无缺，但它们是检查求职者可靠性的几种最佳选择：

提问时，不妨多问一些基于行为的问题，这样能够更深入地了解一个人的真实行为，而不是他们表面上的说辞。举个例子：“能否分享一次你没能按时完成工作的经历？当时你是如何应对的？”这样的问题，能让你更加直接地看到一个人在实际工作中的表现和应对策略。
布置一项作业，要求提交多个成果（比如，对某个建议的深入书面分析，随后进行一场简短的面对面演示）。如果一个人对这个职位是认真的，并且想要展现自己的最佳状态，那么从他提交的作业中你就能看得出来。
在招聘过程中，别忘了一个关键步骤：检查推荐人，尤其是那些候选人没有主动提供的。很多人在招人时都会忽略这一点。了解一个人的可靠性，过去共事的同事和领导往往能提供宝贵的见解，他们能告诉你更多。别忘了，向联系的推荐人请求，让他们再推荐一些曾与候选人紧密合作过的其他同事。

一旦新人加入团队，就要将可靠性作为我们的核心价值观来不断强化。让他们从入职第一天起就开始交付成果。无论是编写代码，还是为网站撰写文案，抑或是发布一条推文——具体取决于他们的工作职责。在他们的第一个工作周，每天都要坚持这样的标准。要求他们在规定的时间内完成并提交任务。通过观察他们行动的倾向和完成任务的及时性，你可以了解他们的工作态度。如果从一开始就以这样的节奏和期望来要求他们，这种积极的工作习惯就更有可能持续下去。

这样不仅能加快新人融入团队的步伐，还能缩短他们建立起工作可靠性所需的时间。

如果你是新加入的员工，那你还有大把机会可以展现自己。要学会找到自己能发挥作用的地方，而且这种作用要有益于团队。有没有一些简单到几乎算是基础工作的任务，是其他员工想做却无暇顾及的？不妨问问他们：“有没有什么事是你想做的，但却总是排不上号的？”几乎每个人都有这样的事。主动揽过来，快速搞定。这样做不仅能提升你的可信度，还能避免给人留下自私的印象。

当我以营销副总裁的身份加入 SurveyMonkey 时，我的首日就撞上了公司品牌重塑的盛大启动。雷蒙迪回忆道：“我们当时只是个小团队，每个人都忙得不可开交。他们最不愿意的就是花时间培训或者引导一位新来的高管。我自问：‘有没有什么简单的事儿，我能做的，既不需要别人手把手教，又能助团队一臂之力，让大家一起成功？’”

公司自然而然地启动了一项调查，目的在于收集用户对于品牌重塑的反馈。调查一启动，用户的反馈就如潮水般涌来。雷蒙迪立刻毛遂自荐，承担起审阅和分析这些海量数据的任务。这样的举措不仅让其他团队成员得以集中精力修复产品中的 bug，更让雷蒙迪对产品有了更深层次的理解，也进一步增强了她个人的可信度和权威。

这件事因人而异。核心要义在于：作为新人，你应当时刻寻找机会，以高效和出色的工作表现，来迅速建立你的可信度。

四、真实度

“这依旧是个让人摸不着头脑的词，而且人们常常过度解读它。实际上，它所表达的意思是：了解一个人有多简单？我们是否能够清楚地知道他们关心什么，什么对他们来说至关重要，又是什么在激励着他们前进？真诚的人不必总是表现得光鲜亮丽，或者知晓一切，或者追求完美无缺。他们说到做到，心口一致。”

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

创业的路上，失败如家常便饭般常见。但许多人宁愿把失败藏在心里，也不愿意公开承认，因为一旦承认了，就像是给自己的可信度打了折扣。
创始人们总是把自家公司看得特别美好，讲述公司故事时也是游刃有余，但有时太过熟练，反而显得像是在念剧本，有点做作，不够真诚。这种情况在筹钱和招人时都可能出现，我们得留个心眼。
越来越多的人喜欢装出一副胸有成竹的样子，哪怕他们其实没多少经验，这种做法反而容易让人起疑心。
公司文化不鼓励员工表达真实的愤怒、不满或悲伤，这种压抑反而让这些情绪暗中滋生，变得更加具有破坏力。

如何应对这个问题：

仔细想想，让同事了解你其实可以很简单。这并不是要你毫无保留地展示个人生活，也不是要求你把自己的一切都告诉他们。

关键是，你的回应是否真诚地反映了你的内心所想和所感？你在职场上的反应是否与生活中的表现一致？你是否与同事分享了那些对你来说重要的事情，以及那些激励你的动力？如果还没有，那可能是时候在工作中展现更多的真实自我了，这样别人就不必去猜测或假设你的感受、想法和行为了。

如果你感觉有人对你不够真诚，不妨直接和他们沟通。不必直接指责，你可以这样说：“我原本没想到你会这么做或说这些，你能告诉我为什么这么做吗？”要敢于展现真实的自己，分享你对公司的期待和担忧。同时，也邀请他们分享他们的想法。有时候，我们对他人的误解可能源于自己不切实际的期望，所以先审视一下自己的假设是否合理。

大概最靠谱的保持真实性的方法就是：持续而积极响应的沟通。（这同样能增强你的可信度和可靠性。）举个例子，创始人想要赢得董事会和投资者的信任，这就需要你。坚持一个固定的节奏，发送每周公司动态和会议材料（会前），再加上会议总结（会后），这能提升你作为领导者的真诚度。你的股东们会清楚地了解你每一步最关心的是什么，以及为什么这样做，他们会信任你能够掌控大局。同样，对待你的员工，多沟通一些，让他们跟随你的步伐。

别等到最后一刻才分享坏消息或伸手求助。别让人措手不及，突然宣布决定或抛出问题。

这不仅会让他们当时对你的评价大打折扣——而且未来他们也不会那么信任你，因为谁知道你可能在隐瞒什么，或者背后究竟发生了什么。“我是吃一堑长一智，”雷蒙迪说，“我原本以为可以自己一肩扛起所有问题，然后拿出解决方案来分享，而不是一开始就坦诚地表达我的担忧。结果却是，对我至关重要的人感到被蒙在鼓里，措手不及。”

据雷蒙迪所说，她认识的一位 CEO 采取了一种非常有效的策略：

他像时钟一样精准地每周向董事会提交更新报告。这些报告哪怕只是一些小变动，也极大地强化了董事会与公司之间的联系。此外，这位 CEO 还会利用这个机会分享自己和团队的近况，以及对董事会成员的个人重要时刻——如结婚纪念日、生日等——表示祝贺。这样的做法不仅加深了他们之间的了解和认可，让他们感觉到彼此不仅是工作伙伴，更是互相了解的朋友。这不仅在办公室内，也在办公室外，为他们勾勒出了一幅更为丰富的生活与工作画面。

在工作场所为社交活动留出时间和空间至关重要。当同事们相互了解得更深入，彼此之间的信任自然也就水涨船高。组织团队午餐、庆贺婴儿洗礼，或者让员工分享他们生活中的宝贵时刻，这些都能给团队带来积极的变化。雷蒙迪所敬佩的一位领导者，会在团队会议开始时，分享员工的个人喜讯，比如旅行照片或是宝宝学会走路的瞬间。

这些举措听起来似乎只是锦上添花，但它们实际上对于团队的凝聚力和信任感有着不可或缺的作用。

对于初创企业来说，客户服务的真诚性至关重要。你与客户沟通的方式，能够决定是建立起长久的信任，还是永久性地失去这份信任——这一切，很大程度上取决于客户是否感到与你之间有真实的情感联系。

雷蒙迪给我们举了一个真实的例子：去年圣诞节，她给儿子挑了份礼物，是从一家小公司买的。刚下单，她就收到了客户服务的留言：“真高兴您选择我们，不过我们得告诉您，这份礼物可能要圣诞后才能送到。我们非常抱歉——我们公司一直有个传统，就是节日期间让员工好好休息，我们人手也不多。希望您能理解，作为补偿，我们会给您的礼物打个折扣。”

“他们竟然能花时间向我解释，这让我印象深刻极了。事实上，当我离开时，我对这家公司的看法变得更加温暖了，因为他们透过一个小窗口让我看到了他们是如何对待员工的。”她说道，”这感觉非常人性化，它来自一个真实的人，而不是一个没有面孔的品牌。我甚至能够想象到电话那头的人。”

在打造客户服务模板时，记得这点：别只做应急反应，要能预见问题。让信息听起来亲切自然，好像出自真人之口。信息要来自有名字的人，这样更有信任感。出现问题时，坦诚相告，别藏着掖着。同时，给客户一个深入了解你的机会，让他们感受到你的真诚和专业。

五、对自身利益的认识

如果有人看起来只是在为自己行事，可能是因为他们想要获得表扬、完成截止日期、显得出色、赚更多的钱、完成交易或增加人手。请注意，这种行为更多是关于外在表现的。即使你并不是出于自私行事，别人也可能这么认为，所以你需要有意识地考虑你展现出来的形象。

越是看重个人得失，人与人之间的信任就越是脆弱。反之，如果一个人表现得像是在为团队、用户或更高的目标而努力工作，那么他就越容易赢得他人的信任。

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

创始人视公司如己出，如同宝贝一般疼爱。尽管初创团队的成员们同样辛勤劳作，但往往创始人会揽获大部分赞誉。因此，对于创始人来说，打破公众对他们只为个人利益考虑的刻板印象，显得尤为关键。
创业公司如赛马般疾驰，却往往忽略了在赛道上传递认可，肯定每个人的成就这一重要环节。
当销售团队加入你的公司，这个问题肯定就会浮出水面。那些靠提成赚钱的员工，自然都会有点私心。
随着团队的壮大，个人的私心杂念也日益增多，大家都在争相展示自己，渴望获得更多的关注、晋升的机会和参与重大项目的机会。高管们更是在权力的游戏中你追我赶，公司政治自然也就应运而生。企业应该提前预见到这些情况，这样才能保证健康可持续的成长。

雷蒙迪直言：“政治斗争对公司的伤害，远超过其他任何因素。”他指出，“当人们显露出只为自己谋利——贪功求赏、争夺领导注意、争取更多金钱和地位时，政治斗争就会迅速滋生。一旦这种心态形成，员工们会越来越不愿意互相帮助，对同事的优先事项产生怀疑，甚至对他们提供帮助的诚意持怀疑态度。如果不及时发现并制止，这种局面将难以逆转。”

如何应对这个问题：

要预防和修补潜在的裂痕，那些可能被这样看待的人首先得有所警觉，然后要主动出击，真心实意地表扬他人，多用“我们”、“咱们”、“我们的”这样的集体性词汇，表明自己心中有团队，并且不断强调我们共同的目标和优先事项：比如更好地服务用户，达成公司的宏观目标等等。

创始人们尤其要把这些招数记在心头。毕竟，创业者们享受着无数的新闻报道和荣耀，而他们的员工如果不被特别关照，很容易感到被边缘化。因此，创始人们需要超常发挥，充分表彰团队成员，公平分配荣誉，甚至愿意让出自己的舞台——比如邀请团队成员参加董事会会议，分享他们的专业知识，或是在行业会议上发言，甚至接受媒体的采访。

销售人员有多种手段可以改变人们的看法，比如在成功拿下订单时，发封邮件，把那些出过力的人名都点一遍；强调整个团队能为最终用户带来什么价值；还有，积极帮同事完成他们的销售目标。

此外，我们能在面试环节中剔除那些自私的苗头，防止它们生根发芽。当你问到候选人过去的成就时，留心他们是不是用“我”还是“我们”来描述。他们会不会抓住机会强调自己是团队的一部分，还是独占了众人的功劳？再问问他们在过去的大项目中，有哪些人参与其中，然后注意他们是如何谈论这些同事的——是满口夸赞，还是轻描淡写？他们是否愿意大方地分享赞誉？这可是个积极的信号。

初创公司可以通过其他方式来捕捉并化解人们只注重自身利益的问题：

对于和董事会打交道的创业者来说，得时刻把工作给客户或最终用户带来的变化挂在嘴边。别忘了，多提提团队里其他成员的贡献，把功劳分给大家。
随着企业规模的不断扩大，一种部落主义的苗头悄然生根，不同职能部门之间可能会开始相互猜忌，比如市场部可能会说“我们不能这么做”，或者抱怨“我们还得为法务部的同事做那么多工作”。要防微杜渐，关键是要强化那些需要合作的部门负责人之间的信任——他们的行为将成为团队成员效仿的楷模。如果出现了裂痕，可以利用特定的方法来帮助他们修复关系。
当信任因私心而逐渐消逝，立刻行动起来，找寻你们之间的共同目标。对你而言至关重要的事情，对方是否同样看重？你们共同追求的是什么？通过将日常的工作和决策与这些共同目标紧密结合，让一切重回正轨。

六、当信任土崩瓦解时

要重建信任，首先要敏锐察觉到信任开始瓦解的征兆和症状。如果你感觉到与同事、上司或下属之间出现了问题，立刻停下手头的工作。静下心来，设身处地思考对方的立场，深入分析上述提到的每一个因素。究竟是什么环节导致了信任的裂痕？

明显表明信任已经受损的迹象：

减少共同度过的时间并尽量减少接触，这样做对提升效率并无益处，反而可能带来负面效果。
即便意见不合，也选择缄默。
会议里大家心不在焉，普遍提不起劲。
闭门密谈，竟变成了对他人的一通发泄。
玩弄职场政治的人。（比如，突然在邮件交流中抄送给你的领导等。）
执行指令时反应迟缓。
一段曾经紧密无间的关系，如今开始走向分崩离析。
立刻对他人的言行做出最坏的猜想。

人们常常针对同事的某些具体行为发牢骚——比如他们这样做不对，那样做也不对，或者因为某些原因表现得很差劲。但他们往往忽略了，信任的问题才是更深层次的关键所在。

当你发现自己陷入这种境地，将问题定性为信任的背叛，往往大有裨益。换个角度思考，能激发我们寻找解决办法——毕竟，信任缺失给公司带来的损失是难以估量的。你可以尝试更有针对性地去修复信任，而不是被普遍的反感和逃避情绪所左右。信任方程式能帮你在下一步行动中做出明智的选择。

七、修复破碎的信任

雷蒙迪的忠告简单明了：别犹豫，直接开始讨论。今天就开始对话吧。

当你发现有什么因素妨碍了你与他人高效合作，首先得明白这段关系对你来说究竟有多重要，她这样说道。试着列出所有你们可以积极合作的方法，以此来提高工作效率。想象一下，未来 5 到 10 年里，你将与这个人一起工作。这会是一段怎样的旅程？你可能会浪费多少时间与精力？这样思考，就能确保你在谈话时持有正确的优先顺序和视角。接着，找出你想要聚焦讨论的变量，以此来界定谈话的范围。

提出谈话，有时就像踩在薄冰上，要小心翼翼。你不能因为一点风吹草动就急着跳脚，或是对一些无关痛痒的小矛盾就大动干戈。要等到问题真的大到让你感觉到，如果再不解决，你的工作就要受到连累了，这时候才值得一谈。面对面的交流是最佳选择，避免用一封充满情绪的长邮件来沟通。如果条件允许，不妨换个环境，比如走出办公室，找一处中立的地方。散步是个不错的选择，既能让气氛轻松，又能避免双方尴尬地对视。

最关键的是，千万别背着人去找他的上司或同事。任何一位杰出的管理者都会建议你，首先应该尝试直接解决问题。所以，说话要和气，只从你的视角出发，假设对方是出于好意，并将你的担忧与具体事例挂钩，别让它变成空洞无物的感觉。

以下是一个例子：“嘿，咱们聊聊吧，我最近感觉到我们的关系似乎有些微妙的变化。就比如说，那次 X 事件，给我带来了 Y 样的影响。咱们的关系对我来说意义重大，所以我真的想听听你的感受，探讨一下我们今后如何能做得更好，因为我相信咱们携手一定能够创造非凡的成就。”

雷蒙迪提醒我们，在情绪激动或感到受伤时，向对方表达你对他们和你们关系的珍视尤为重要。“我见过不少管理者对员工积累了很多不满，却从未直接表达出来。结果，他们觉得唯一的解决办法就是解雇员工，其实本可以通过一次直接而坦诚的对话来解决问题，”她指出。“很多时候，员工表现不佳，是因为他们感觉自己不被领导重视或喜欢。”

如果你不与你不信任的人沟通，你的成见只会越来越深。“这正是你的团队中对抗关系泛滥的原因，”她说。“我经常听到人们抱怨，比如‘那个人就是个权力狂’，或者‘我们部门现在正上演着地盘争夺战’，或者‘我讨厌合规部门的那些人——他们让我们的日子难以忍受。’他们把同事描绘成反派角色，耗费大量精力去对抗，而不是集中精力实现公司的目标。”

如果你听到别人（或者自己）说出这样的话，不妨用信任方程来做个诊断，找出问题的根源，同时给负面情绪降降温。下面是一些关键的小贴士，帮你做到这一点：

量化评估其实大有裨益。给方程中的变量标上具体的数字。比如，你可以用 1 到 10 的分数来评估一个人的可信度、可靠度、真诚度和自我中心程度。看看最终得分是多少（当然，这是你的秘密）。这种方法有助于让你的思考更加清晰，同时减少一些情绪化的干扰。通过打分，你还能发现一个人的优点，而不只是缺点。

单独为你们合作的每个项目进行评估，可能会带来意想不到的洞见。或许他们在某个任务上表现得无可挑剔，而在其他几项上却只有及格水平。这些项目之间有什么相似之处？你能从中洞察到他们的工作模式是怎样的，以便更好地协助他们提升表现吗？

“来，咱们打个比方，假设有这么个人，在三个项目上的靠谱程度只有 40%，而这仨项目的时间线都是云里雾里，目标也是变来变去，”雷蒙迪侃侃而谈。”你要是这人的同事或者领导，你可以出手帮忙，以后的截止日期得定得更明确些。如果某人在好几个项目上可信度评分都低，你得琢磨琢磨这是为啥。可能他们缺的背景信息，你正好能补上。”

人类天生爱归纳：”这人总是迟到。他们从没交过干净利落的稿件。”通过逐个项目来评估人，可以打破这种一概而论的偏见，让你洞察到个体差异，避免草率地对他们做出不公正的评价。

当你将这些工具融合运用，便能开启如下建设性的对话：“嗨，我想简单谈谈最近一直困扰我的事情。在最近的两个项目中，我注意到你在全体会议上得到了所有的赞誉。你确实应该获得这些荣誉，但我也觉得自己做出了不小的贡献。我们的关系对我来说极其重要——我们共同完成了很多伟大的事情——所以我想提出来，也想听听你的看法，看看是否有我需要知道的内情。如果有的话，我相信你会坦诚相告。”

雷蒙迪强调，这是你能做的最重要的事情之一：“始终直截了当地说：我信任你。”哪怕只是简单说出这句话，都能在你们理清问题时，让彼此之间的信任感更进一步。

八、用这个方程式来构建你的职业生涯

对于职场新人——无论是刚走出校园的学子，还是正在职场上逐步攀升的奋斗者，掌握这个方程式，无疑是他们做出明智选择、构建良好人脉的利器。

迅速建立信任，并在漫长岁月中细心呵护这份信任，这是成功的关键因素，却往往被我们忽略。

雷蒙迪指出：“在职场摸爬滚打十年到二十年的人士都明白，最宝贵的机遇往往来自我们信任的人。到了某个转折点，他们的职业生涯几乎完全由这些人际关系所塑造。所以，如果你没有主动去思考如何培养和维护这种信任，那就等于是在坐失良机。”

她建议这样应用这个公式来确保一个良好的发展轨迹：

每次踏入新岗位，都要掂量自己的可信度、靠谱程度和真诚度。你的目标应该是尽早在这些方面赢得高分。要积极思考如何展示你的专业知识，证明自己能够说到做到，以及你就是你所说的那个人。
参考方程式解决冲突。别轻言放弃与同事间的分歧，别认为你们永远达不成共识，也别认为别人对你的工作评价不高就无关紧要。你不必强求每个人都喜欢你，但你得建立信任，以营造良好的工作氛围。判断一下，是不是信任缺失导致了冲突，如果是，就按照上面的练习来修复关系。
对未来雇主进行尽职调查。 当你为一份潜在的工作激动不已时，别忘了，信任你的未来上司和同事至关重要。提些问题，看看这些人是否值得信赖——他们是否有足够的专业知识，能否在工作中表现出色；他们是否可靠（对你的问题是否总是给予及时反馈？在以往的项目中，他们是否总是可靠地完成任务？）；他们是否真诚（他们是否能坦诚地告诉你工作中可能遇到的困难，或是不那么光鲜的一面？）。你的老板是更多地谈论团队的成功，还是只关注自己的成就？
当你掉链子时，聚焦于补强短板。人非圣贤，孰能无过。工作中出现失误，就得准备好重建信任的桥梁。别急于求成，要有耐心，理解别人对你的看法需要时间来转变，这是正常的。这个方程式可以作为一个系统性的修复指南。回想一下，你的错误违反了方程式的哪个部分。在未来的工作中，着重展示那一部分，以此来加速问题的解决。
谈判中要少谈私利。虽然在金钱和晋升的谈判中，关注个人利益是理所当然的，但我们可以采取一些策略让你的论点更有力量。比如，当你在争取更多的股份时，可以突出你是为了团队的共同成功：“我渴望长期投入，与大家携手打造宏伟事业。”

雷蒙迪说过：“我见过不少人在谈加薪时走错路，他们拿房贷或个人开销变化来说事。老板们不是不体谅，但真正能打动他们的，是那种能为团队和公司带来好处的理由。”

在她看来，一场有说服力的加薪谈话应该是这样的：“我想要承担更多的责任——这是我对团队接下来 6 到 12 个月能做的事情的展望，以及我将如何贡献自己的力量。”她建议，首先表达你对公司整体发展的贡献意愿。接着说，“如果我能够达成这些目标，我希望能够提升到 X 元的薪资水平。”通过这种方式，你并没有一开始就提出加薪的要求，而是将个人利益暂时搁置，让整个对话变得更加轻松愉快，同时也为自己如果表现出众时获得加薪提供了清晰的论据。

“你得让你的上司因为推荐你而显得格外光彩，”雷蒙迪说。“当你展开你为何值得加薪的理由时，想想你如何能助力她达成她的目标。你心中既装着她的利益，也装着你自己的利益。你要展现出你们是一条心，并肩前行。”然后，你就能展现出足够的可信度和可靠性，确保你能按自己的节奏实现目标。

九、总而言之

在任何职业道路上，无论你拥有多么出众的才华、多么坚定的敬业精神，或者多么高超的社交能力，都难免会遇到一些不确定性和人际关系的波折。面对这些情况，我们不要急于下结论，也不要立刻变得防备心重，而是应该借鉴一下“信任方程式”。很可能，你所经历的这些情绪波动，是信任感在某方面受到了削弱或质疑的表现。这个框架，可以作为我们开始对话或修补关系的出发点。

信任是人际关系的基石。它决定了你是否能够喜欢某人，或者能否与他们愉快合作。但在关于如何拓展人脉和职业发展的文章或建议中，信任这个话题却鲜少被提及。上述智慧为我们提供了一份入门指南，教我们如何在职业生涯中将信任作为核心和积极行动的触发器——确保你始终沿着自己期望的轨迹前进。

雷蒙迪说：“信任这东西，它太基本了，以至于我们常常忽略了它才是问题的关键。如果你能洞察到信任在每一次交流中的重要性，那可真是个大优势。”

中英版：

附录：中英文翻译

Anne Raimondi was stumped. Two people she managed weren’t getting along, and it was really impacting progress. In her private conversations with each of them, they had the same goals and wanted the same things. But in the room together, they’d disagree on everything. They’d quibble over the smallest things, avoid spending time together, and jump to assuming the worst about each other, even though they were ultimately on the same team.

安妮·雷蒙迪遇到了难题。她管理的两个人相处不来，这严重影响了工作进展。在她与他们各自私下交谈时，发现他们有着相同的目标和愿望。但当他们在一起时，却对每件事都意见不合。他们会为最小的事争执，避免一起度过时间，并且总是急于对对方做出最坏的假设，尽管他们本质上是同一个团队的成员。

Raimondi — who, today, has an all-star track record, including Director of Product at eBay, VP Marketing at SurveyMonkey, CRO at TaskRabbit, SVP Operations at Zendesk, and COO at Earnin — didn’t know what to do, so she asked her executive coach, who stated the problem simply: They don’t trust each other.

雷蒙迪——如今她的履历可谓星光璀璨：eBay 的产品总监、SurveyMonkey 的营销副总裁、TaskRabbit 的首席收入官、Zendesk 的运营高级副总裁，还有 Earnin 的首席运营官。然而，面对当前的困境，她不知道该如何是好，于是她咨询了自己的高管教练。教练直截了当地指出了问题所在：他们之间缺乏信任。

“Immediately, I thought,’Oh yeah, of course, that’s absolutely it.’ It brought everything into focus,”she says. To move toward a solution, she recalled a book she’d discovered years prior called The Trust Equation by Steven Drozdeck and Lyn Fisher, which offers the following equation for how humans determine who and how much to trust:

信任（Trust）=可信度（Credibility）+ 可靠度（Reliability）+ 真实度（Authenticity）/ 重视自身利益的程度（Perception of Self Interest）

Essentially, the amount you trust someone is the sum of how credible you believe they are on a subject, how reliable they’ve proven themselves to be over time, and how authentic you think they are as a person, divided by how much you think they’re acting in their own self interest. Looking at her colleagues’ relationship through this lens, Raimondi helped them diagnose when and how trust had eroded, and eventually work with them to heal the rift.

本质上，你对一个人的信任，其实就是他们在某件事上的可信度、长期以来展示出的可靠性，以及你对他们作为一个人的真实性的总和，再除以你感觉他们有多为自身利益考虑。雷蒙迪就是用这种视角，观察了她同事间的互动，帮助他们找出了信任何时何地开始流失，并且协助他们一步步修复了彼此间的裂痕。

Since then, she’s thought a lot about applying the Trust Equation at technology startups in particular, where trust is non-optional. Not only can distrust between co-founders be fatal, but the terrain at startups changes rapidly, people move into new roles and challenges, and at a certain point there’s an influx of new people. There’s no time to doubt or be doubted — and this equation can help. Here, Raimondi — who’s now a regular instructor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business — shares how she’s seen it applied to fix big problems before they start.

自那以后，她深入思考了如何将信任方程式应用于科技初创企业，因为在这些企业中，信任是不可或缺、生死攸关的。不仅合伙人之间的猜疑能导致致命后果，而且初创公司的环境变化莫测，员工需要迅速适应新角色和挑战，同时，总有新成员的加入。在这种高压环境下，没有时间去怀疑或被怀疑——这个方程为我们提供了解决方案。如今，雷蒙迪已经身为斯坦福商学院的常驻讲师，她分享了自己如何运用这个方程，在问题尚未显现之前就将其解决的经历。

一、THE VARIABLES

变量

Think about your primary relationships at work, and consider each of the equation’s variables. How do the people you know measure up in these categories?

思考一下你职场中的核心人脉，仔细琢磨等式中的各个因素。你认识的这些人在这些方面的表现究竟如何？

二、Credibility

可信度

You’ll find someone credible if they seem to have the knowledge, experience, and familiarity to perform a particular role well. It’s best indicated by past roles, lessons learned, the insights they offer and the terminology they use.

Credibility is something people have in a particular role, in a particular setting, at a particular time.

在特定的角色、特定的场合、特定的时刻，人们展现出的可信度，这是他们独有的特质。

Where it breaks at startups:

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

When people move into new roles within an organization or inherit teams of people to manage. 当人们在组织内部跳槽到新岗位，或是接管现有团队进行管理时。
Whenever anyone is doing something they’ve never done before, or figuring out something unprecedented. 每当有人尝试一件新事物，或者在探索一些前所未有之事时，他们正走在创新的道路上。
When someone who was just a great engineer, designer, marketer, etc. is suddenly promoted to manage people, which requires talent at leadership and handling people issues. This, especially, can lead to a lot of issues when people don’t trust their managers. 当一个人从优秀的工程师、设计师或营销人员的角色突然被提拔为管理岗位，这时就需要展现出领导力和处理人际关系的才能。特别是如果下属对管理者缺乏信任，这种情况往往会造成很多问题。

“People try to scale as fast as their company, which can damage their credibility if they don’t pay attention,”says Raimondi.”If you’re on this trajectory, you need to proactively re-establish your credibility at every stop along the way. If you find yourself doubting leadership, consider whether there’s a credibility gap at play. What could they do to prove their credibility to you?”

What to do about it: 如何应对这个问题：

Don’t let questions of credibility linger. If you truly are new at doing something, be patient. In the meantime, lean hard on your reliability and authenticity.”Keep your commitments, hit deadlines, and don’t hide what you don’t know how to do or fake confidence,”she says.”Also, make it visible what you’re doing to gain credibility, whether that’s reading on the subject matter, getting a coach, or applying feedback you’ve gotten. Show people you’re actively closing the delta.”

A big part of this is asking the people around you to understand what matters to them, how they want to work with you, what they expect from you, and what they want to make happen. If you’ve inherited a team, ask questions about what they wish had been different in the past. What gaps existed? What would they like to see change? Asking open ended questions can turn people’s doubt about your abilities into excitement about what you’ll do that’s new.

管理团队，尤其是接手一个新团队时，关键的一步是深入了解团队成员的心声。问问他们，什么对他们来说至关重要，他们期待与你如何协作，他们对你有哪些期望，以及他们心中渴望实现的目标是什么。如果你接手了一个团队，不妨多问一些过去他们觉得可以改进的地方。是否存在哪些不足？他们希望在哪些方面看到变化？通过提出一些开放式的问题，你不仅能消除团队成员对你能力的疑虑，还能激发他们对你即将带来的新变化的期待和兴奋。

“Call a meeting with everyone you talked to and say,’I’ve gotten input from all of you so it’s clear what we want to preserve, and the two or three things you all want to see changed, here’s how I’ll be making that a priority…'”says Raimondi.”If you’ve been put in charge of a team because leadership wanted to go in a new direction, be really transparent about that and how the change was made. Don’t let people make up their own stories. Get ahead of it with something like: ‘I was brought in so we could hit X milestone with a different approach, and I have X expertise they thought would be helpful.'”

“召集所有和你聊过的人，开个会，然后诚恳地说：‘我已经听取了大家的意见，咱们心照不宣，知道哪些东西是咱们要坚守的，哪些是大家期望改变的。接下来，我会这样来优先处理这些事情……’”雷蒙迪如是说。“如果你被提拔为团队的领头人，是因为领导层想要探索新的方向，那就要坦诚地告诉大家这一点，以及这个决策是如何形成的。别让人家自己瞎猜。要像这样提前说明：‘我被引进来，是为了用一种全新的方式去实现 X 目标，而且他们认为我的 X 方面的专长能够派上用场。’”

Conversely, if lack of credibility is the reason you’re doubting someone, gently broach the subject in a one-on-one: “How are you making decisions? What experience are you applying in this situation? How are you learning in this area?” And don’t forget to ask, “How can I help you?” Often, you’ll find that people have more credibility than you assume based on their background.

三、Reliability

可靠性

You’ll find someone reliable if they do what they say they’re going to do. You feel like anything you assign them is as good as done. They hold themselves accountable for things when they go well and when they go wrong. They learn from and clean up their mistakes. They’re consistent in behavior, responsiveness, and quality of work.

Someone can be extremely smart, knowledgeable, and a joy to be around, but if they don’t deliver on time or to the standard expected, they’ll lose trust quickly.

一个人可能极其聪明、知识渊博，并且相处起来令人愉快，但如果他们不能按时交付工作或达到预期的标准，他们很快就会失去信任。

Where it breaks at startups:

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

Leaders don’t have time to double-check work, so everyone needs to be able to carry the ball and make good decisions on their own. This doesn’t always happen. 领导者忙得不可开交，无暇一一复查工作，所以每个人都得能独当一面，自己拿主意做决策。但现实是，并非每个人都能做到这样。
Missed deadlines have a resounding impact on whether a startup succeeds or not. At large companies, reliability is often buffered. More people are around to catch you when you fall, deadlines and goal posts can be moved. This is not the case on small teams. 错过截止日期对于创业公司能否成功至关重要。在大企业，可靠性往往有后援。一旦你跌倒，总有人在旁边伸出援手，而且截止日期和目标也是灵活可调的。但小团队的情况就大不相同了。
Many early employees aren’t as bought in as the founders, or don’t think working at a startup should be any different from another job, so they aren’t there when they’re needed. 许多初创团队的元老级员工，他们的投入程度往往不及创始人，有时甚至觉得在创业公司工作与其他职位并无二致，这导致在关键时刻，他们往往无法及时出现，为公司提供所需的支持。
A lot of early team members are single points of failure for their job functions. If they weren’t there, it wouldn’t happen, so they can’t miss. 很多初创团队的核心成员，他们的角色至关重要，几乎成了各自职责的关键节点。一旦他们缺席，整个工作流程可能就会陷入停滞。因此，他们绝不能缺席。

What to do about it:

如何应对这个问题：

When reliability breaks down, it’s important to address it immediately. Don’t let more than two projects go by without a conversation. In this talk, you want to 1) establish that your expectations were aligned at the start, 2) explain the impact on the team/goal (not just on you), and 3) ideate with them about how to do things differently the next time. Do this without using accusatory “you” language.

当可靠性出现裂痕，立刻行动至关重要。千万别让两个以上的项目在没有沟通的情况下悄然滑过。这次谈话中，你得做到 1) 确认双方从一开始就对期望达成了共识，2) 阐述问题对团队或目标的影响（而不仅仅是对你个人的影响），以及 3) 和团队一起头脑风暴，探讨下一次如何做得更好。整个过程中，记得避免使用指责的字眼，保持沟通的和谐。

Here’s an example: “Hey, I wanted to chat about how we shipped that product a bit later than expected. Was your expectation also that it would go out on March 15? I wanted to chat, because missing that date meant that a few of the engineers had to work over the weekend, and I thought we could ideate a bit about how to course correct and make sure it doesn’t happen in the future.”

下面举个例子：“嘿，我们聊聊咱们那款产品发货比预期晚的事情吧。你当时是不是也想着 3 月 15 号就能发出去？我想我们得好好聊聊，因为错过了那个日期，我们的工程师们不得不牺牲周末来加班。我们是不是可以头脑风暴一下，想想办法，避免以后再次发生这样的状况。”

In the course of these conversations, you might discover there was a bigger blocker or systemic issue that led to the deadline being missed — maybe it’s not the other person’s fault after all, and you just unearthed something more important to fix. Don’t let blame blind you to these possibilities.”In the end, most reliability issues between people can be boiled down to poor communication, which is easily fixed,” says Raimondi.

在这些对话的深入交流中，你可能会意识到，背后可能隐藏着一个更大的障碍或系统性问题，这正是导致期限被错过的原因——或许，这并不完全是对方的过失，而是你意外地挖掘出了一些更为关键和需要优先解决的问题。不要让指责遮蔽了你的视野，忽略了这些可能。”说到底，人与人之间的大多数信任问题，其根源往往在于沟通不畅，而这，其实是可以轻易解决的，”雷蒙迪如是说。

“For all these reasons, it’s crucial to get the best read possible on the reliability of every single candidate you interview for a job,”she says.”Which is tough, because reliability is the most challenging quality to gauge in an interview process — it’s usually demonstrated over time.”

Here are some of the best (albeit imperfect) ways to check for reliability before making a hire, according to Raimondi:

根据雷蒙迪的观点，以下方法虽然不是完美无缺，但它们是检查求职者可靠性的几种最佳选择：

Ask behavioral based questions about past experiences to understand how someone acts, not how they think they would act. For example, “Tell me about a time when you missed a deadline. How did you handle the situation?” 提问时，不妨多问一些基于行为的问题，这样能够更深入地了解一个人的真实行为，而不是他们表面上的说辞。举个例子：“能否分享一次你没能按时完成工作的经历？当时你是如何应对的？”这样的问题，能让你更加直接地看到一个人在实际工作中的表现和应对策略。
Give a homework assignment with multiple deliverables (e.g. a written analysis of a recommendation and then a short in-person presentation). If someone is serious about the role and showing their best, you’ll see it in what they deliver. 布置一项作业，要求提交多个成果（比如，对某个建议的深入书面分析，随后进行一场简短的面对面演示）。如果一个人对这个职位是认真的，并且想要展现自己的最佳状态，那么从他提交的作业中你就能看得出来。
Check references, especially ones that the candidate did not give you. Too many people skip this step when hiring. Past colleagues and managers can often speak to how consistently reliable someone was, and so much more. Ask the references you speak to to refer you to others who worked closely on projects with the candidate as a peer. 在招聘过程中，别忘了一个关键步骤：检查推荐人，尤其是那些候选人没有主动提供的。很多人在招人时都会忽略这一点。了解一个人的可靠性，过去共事的同事和领导往往能提供宝贵的见解，他们能告诉你更多。别忘了，向联系的推荐人请求，让他们再推荐一些曾与候选人紧密合作过的其他同事。

Once someone’s in the door, reinforce reliability as a cultural value. Have them ship something on Day 1. Maybe it’s code. Maybe it’s adding copy to the website or putting out a tweet — depending on job function. Make this the norm every day for their first week. Ask them to turn something in or put something out by a certain time. Observe their bias toward action and how promptly they hit their mark. If you start things with this cadence and expectation, it’s more likely to continue. This shortens the cycle it takes for someone to build up reliability.

If you’re the new employee just joining, there’s more you can do. Figure out where to jump in and make impact in a way that’s useful. What are the simple, almost grunt-work level tasks that existing employees want to get done but don’t have time to do themselves? Ask,”What’s that one thing you want to do but that’s last on your list?” Everyone has something like this. Take it off their plate and get it done quickly. This both enhances reliability and minimizes perception of self interest.

如果你是新加入的员工，那你还有大把机会可以展现自己。要学会找到自己能发挥作用的地方，而且这种作用要有益于团队。有没有一些简单到几乎算是基础工作的任务，是其他员工想做却无暇顾及的？不妨问问他们：”有没有什么事是你想做的，但却总是排不上号的？”几乎每个人都有这样的事。主动揽过来，快速搞定。这样做不仅能提升你的可信度，还能避免给人留下自私的印象。

“When I joined SurveyMonkey as VP of Marketing, my first day was the same day as our rebrand launch,” says Raimondi. “It was a small team and they were all hands on deck. The last thing they wanted to do was train or loop in a new executive. I asked myself,’What’s one simple thing I can do to be helpful, where no one will need to babysit me, and that will help the team succeed?'”

Naturally, the company was running a survey to collect user feedback about the rebrand — and it started pouring in as soon as they flipped the switch. Raimondi immediately volunteered to go through all this data, batch and analyze it. This freed up everyone else to keep bug fixing, and gave Raimondi herself amazing insight into the product — which enhanced her credibility too.

This thing will be different for everyone. The key takeaway: When you’re new, always look for opportunities to turn work around fast and well to establish your reliability.

这件事因人而异。核心要义在于：作为新人，你应当时刻寻找机会，以高效和出色的工作表现，来迅速建立你的可信度。

四、Authenticity

真实性

This remains a nebulous term, and is often overthought. What it really means in practice is: How easy is it to get to know the person? Is it clear what they care about, what matters to them and what motivates them? Authentic people don’t need to always be polished, or know the answer, or be perfect. They do and say what they mean.

Where it breaks at startups:

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

Failure is incredibly common at startups, but people don’t want to admit they failed or made a mistake because it will damage their credibility. 创业的路上，失败如家常便饭般常见。但许多人宁愿把失败藏在心里，也不愿意公开承认，因为一旦承认了，就像是给自己的可信度打了折扣。
Founders have an idealized view of their companies, and are so practiced at telling its story, that they come across as scripted, contrived, inauthentic. This happens with both fundraising and recruiting and is something to watch out for. 创始人们总是把自家公司看得特别美好，讲述公司故事时也是游刃有余，但有时太过熟练，反而显得像是在念剧本，有点做作，不够真诚。这种情况在筹钱和招人时都可能出现，我们得留个心眼。
More people try to project confidence even though they’re inexperienced, which can sow distrust. 越来越多的人喜欢装出一副胸有成竹的样子，哪怕他们其实没多少经验，这种做法反而容易让人起疑心。
Company culture doesn’t allow for authentic expressions of anger, displeasure, or sadness — which pushes it underground where it can be more corrosive. 公司文化不鼓励员工表达真实的愤怒、不满或悲伤，这种压抑反而让这些情绪暗中滋生，变得更加具有破坏力。

What to do about it:

如何应对这个问题：

Really think about how easy it is for your colleagues to get to know you. This doesn’t mean giving them access to your entire personal life, or mean you have to tell them everything about you. Rather, do you respond in ways that align with how you truly think and feel? Do your reactions in the workplace match your reactions outside? Do you share enough about what matters to you and what motivates you with your colleagues? If not, why? There might be room to be more authentic on the job, so that people aren’t left guessing or assuming how you feel, what you think, what you’ll do.

仔细想想，让同事了解你其实可以很简单。这并不是要你毫无保留地展示个人生活，也不是要求你把自己的一切都告诉他们。关键是，你的回应是否真诚地反映了你的内心所想和所感？你在职场上的反应是否与生活中的表现一致？你是否与同事分享了那些对你来说重要的事情，以及那些激励你的动力？如果还没有，那可能是时候在工作中展现更多的真实自我了，这样别人就不必去猜测或假设你的感受、想法和行为了。

If you feel like someone is being inauthentic with you, you should talk about it. You don’t have to accuse them directly, but rather say:”I wouldn’t have assumed you’d do or say X or Y. Can you tell me more about why you did?” Be willing to be authentic with them, share what you’re excited about at the company and what you worry about. Ask them to do the same in return. Having the wrong expectations about someone can sometimes masquerade as them seeming inauthentic, so check your own assumptions first. How valid are they, really?

Perhaps the best way to be authentic: Stay in consistent, responsive communication. (This also helps with reliability and credibility.) The prime example here is a founder wanting to maintain the trust of their board and investors. Holding yourself to a schedule for sending weekly company updates and materials (before meetings) and recaps (right after) will enhance your authenticity as a leader. Your stakeholders will know what’s top of mind for you and why at every beat along the way, and they’ll trust you’re on top of things. The same goes for your employees — over-communicate to bring them along with you.

Don’t wait to share bad news or ask for help. Don’t surprise people with decisions or problems out of the blue.

别等到最后一刻才分享坏消息或伸手求助。别让人措手不及，突然宣布决定或抛出问题。

This will not only make them think less of you in the moment — they also won’t trust you as much going forward, because who knows what you might be hiding or what’s really going on. “I learned this the hard way,” says Raimondi. “Instead of being open about what I was worried about, I thought I could work through all the issues myself and then share my solution. The end result was that people who were important to me felt out of the loop and blindsided.”

A good approach, cites Raimondi, is one CEO she knows who sends weekly updates to his board like clockwork. Even if they’re tiny, they provide much-appreciated connective tissue between them and the company. He also uses it as an opportunity to share a few personal updates from him and his team, and to congratulate board members on important personal developments like anniversaries, birthdays, etc. This helps them acknowledge and feel like they know each other even better as people, not just colleagues. It paints a fuller picture of what matters to all of them inside and outside the office.

据雷蒙迪所说，她认识的一位 CEO 采取了一种非常有效的策略：他像时钟一样精准地每周向董事会提交更新报告。这些报告哪怕只是一些小变动，也极大地强化了董事会与公司之间的联系。此外，这位 CEO 还会利用这个机会分享自己和团队的近况，以及对董事会成员的个人重要时刻——如结婚纪念日、生日等——表示祝贺。这样的做法不仅加深了他们之间的了解和认可，让他们感觉到彼此不仅是工作伙伴，更是互相了解的朋友。这不仅在办公室内，也在办公室外，为他们勾勒出了一幅更为丰富的生活与工作画面。

Providing time and space for social gatherings at work is crucial. When people feel like they truly know each other, they trust each other more. Hosting team lunches, celebrating baby showers, and letting people share what they value in their personal lives makes a distinct difference. One leader Raimondi admires kicks off team meetings with personal announcements accompanied by photos from employees’recent travel or of a baby’s first steps. All of this might sound like a nice-to-have, but it serves an important function.

在工作场所为社交活动留出时间和空间至关重要。当同事们相互了解得更深入，彼此之间的信任自然也就水涨船高。组织团队午餐、庆贺婴儿洗礼，或者让员工分享他们生活中的宝贵时刻，这些都能给团队带来积极的变化。雷蒙迪所敬佩的一位领导者，会在团队会议开始时，分享员工的个人喜讯，比如旅行照片或是宝宝学会走路的瞬间。这些举措听起来似乎只是锦上添花，但它们实际上对于团队的凝聚力和信任感有着不可或缺的作用。

Authenticity is particularly relevant for startups when it comes to customer service. The way you choose to communicate with customers can either establish long-lasting trust or lose it forever — largely based on whether they feel a real connection to you.

Raimondi provides a vivid example: Last year, she bought a Christmas gift for her son from a small company. Immediately, she received a note from their customer service channel stating: “We’re so happy you ordered from us, but unfortunately it looks like this gift will arrive after Christmas! We’re incredibly sorry about this — we value giving everyone the week around the holiday off, and we have a tiny staff. We hope you’ll understand, and we’ll discount your gift in the meantime.”

“I was so impressed that they took the time to explain, and I actually walked away feeling warmer thoughts about the company because they provided a little window into how they treat their employees,” she says. “It felt personal, it came from an actual human being and not a faceless brand, and I could visualize the people on the other end.”

Keep this in mind as you devise customer service templates. Don’t just be reactive — anticipate issues. Make messages sound human. Have them come from named people. Be transparent when things go wrong. Give people a chance to get to know you better.

五、Perception of Self Interest

对自身利益的认识

Does someone seem to be acting only for themselves? Maybe it’s to get credit or hit a deadline, to look good or to make more money or close a deal or get more headcount. Note that this variable is more about optics. Even if you’re not acting selfishly, it might still appear that you are to others, so you need to be intentional about what you project.

The greater the perception of self interest, the lower the trust between people. Alternatively, the more someone appears to be doing work for the benefit of the team, end user, or a higher goal, the easier it is to trust them.

Where it breaks at startups:

在初创公司中，问题出在哪里：

For founders, their company is their baby. They end up getting a lion’s share of credit even though early employees are often working just as hard. It’s particularly important for them to defray the perception of self interest. 创始人视公司如己出，如同宝贝一般疼爱。尽管初创团队的成员们同样辛勤劳作，但往往创始人会揽获大部分赞誉。因此，对于创始人来说，打破公众对他们只为个人利益考虑的刻板印象，显得尤为关键。
Startups are often running so fast, that they forget the importance of passing credit around and acknowledging everyone’s wins along the way. 创业公司如赛马般疾驰，却往往忽略了在赛道上传递认可，肯定每个人的成就这一重要环节。
When sales is added to your org, this will inevitably come up. Anyone who makes money based on commission has assumed self-interest. 当销售团队加入你的公司，这个问题肯定就会浮出水面。那些靠提成赚钱的员工，自然都会有点私心。
The bigger your team gets, the more often people have their own agendas, the more they’re posturing for visibility, promotions and important projects. Executives jockey for position, and politics emerge. Companies should anticipate this to achieve healthy growth. 随着团队的壮大，个人的私心杂念也日益增多，大家都在争相展示自己，渴望获得更多的关注、晋升的机会和参与重大项目的机会。高管们更是在权力的游戏中你追我赶，公司政治自然也就应运而生。企业应该提前预见到这些情况，这样才能保证健康可持续的成长。

“Politics can damage companies more than anything else,” says Raimondi. “And nothing breeds politics faster than when people appear to be out for themselves — taking credit, fighting for executive attention, pushing for more money and status. When this attitude emerges, people will feel less and less good about helping their colleagues, will doubt people’s priorities, and even be skeptical of their offers to help. It’s irreversible if not caught early.”

What to do about it:

如何应对这个问题：

To anticipate and prevent these cracks from forming, anyone who might be perceived this way should first be aware of it and then be proactive about generously giving credit to others (in a genuine way), using collective language like ‘we,’ ‘us,’ and ‘our’ to make it clear they’re thinking of the team, and repeating commitments to shared goals and priorities: like doing better by end users, hitting company-wide metrics, etc.

Founders in particular need to keep these tactics top of mind. Given the amount of coverage and glory lavished on entrepreneurs, their employees can feel left behind unless they go above and beyond to highlight others, spread credit around, and give away the spotlight — including inviting others to board meetings to present on their area of expertise, and to speak at conferences and to the press.

Salespeople can do a number of things to change people’s perception, including sending out emails when deals are won naming everyone who helped make it possible, emphasizing what the entire team will be able to provide to end users as a result, and actively pitching in to help colleagues hit their quotas.

Plus, you can prevent self interest from taking root early by weeding it out in interviews. When you ask candidates about past accomplishments, always listen for whether they use “I” or “we.” Do they take opportunities to talk about how they were a member of a bigger team, or do they take individual credit for the work of many? Ask them who else was involved on big past projects and listen for how they talk about those people — do they say glowing things or do they minimize others’participation? Do they give significant amounts of credit away? That’s a good sign.

Other ways startups can catch and diffuse self interest:

初创公司可以通过其他方式来捕捉并化解人们只注重自身利益的问题：

For founders talking to board members, always highlight the impact the work is making on customers/end users. Give away credit to other members of your team. 对于和董事会打交道的创业者来说，得时刻把工作给客户或最终用户带来的变化挂在嘴边。别忘了，多提提团队里其他成员的贡献，把功劳分给大家。
As companies get larger, tribalism takes seed, and functional areas can start to distrust each other, i.e. “Marketing won’t let us do that”or”We have to do all this work for the folks in Legal.”Nip this in the bud by solidifying trust between heads of departments that work together — they’ll model behavior others will follow. If a rift emerges, use the equation to help them resolve it. 随着企业规模的不断扩大，一种部落主义的苗头悄然生根，不同职能部门之间可能会开始相互猜忌，比如市场部可能会说“我们不能这么做”，或者抱怨“我们还得为法务部的同事做那么多工作”。要防微杜渐，关键是要强化那些需要合作的部门负责人之间的信任——他们的行为将成为团队成员效仿的楷模。如果出现了裂痕，可以利用特定的方法来帮助他们修复关系。
Whenever trust starts to fade because of self interest, immediately run the exercise of identifying common goals. What’s important to you that’s also important to that other person? What are you both working toward? Get things back on track by connecting everyday work and decision making to those things. 当信任因私心而逐渐消逝，立刻行动起来，找寻你们之间的共同目标。对你而言至关重要的事情，对方是否同样看重？你们共同追求的是什么？通过将日常的工作和决策与这些共同目标紧密结合，让一切重回正轨。

六、WHEN TRUST FAILS

当信任土崩瓦解时

In order to fix trust, you have to recognize the signs and symptoms that it’s falling apart — as early as you can. If you feel like something is off between you and a colleague, you and your manager, or you and a report, stop what you’re doing. Sit down, put yourself in the shoes of the other person, and take the time to think about each variable described above. Where might a gap be weakening trust?

Tell-tale signs that trust has been damaged:

明显表明信任已经受损的迹象：

Avoiding spending time together and minimizing contact (which has destructive consequences for productivity). 减少共同度过的时间并尽量减少接触，这样做对提升效率并无益处，反而可能带来负面效果。
Silence despite disagreement. 即便意见不合，也选择缄默。
Disengagement in meetings and general lack of enthusiasm. 会议里大家心不在焉，普遍提不起劲。
Closed-door conversations that turn into vent sessions about another person. 闭门密谈，竟变成了对他人的一通发泄。
People playing politics. (I.e. suddenly, they CC your boss on an email exchange, etc.) 玩弄职场政治的人。（比如，突然在邮件交流中抄送给你的领导等。）
Slow execution on directions that have been given. 执行指令时反应迟缓。
A formerly close relationship has started drifting off the rails. 一段曾经紧密无间的关系，如今开始走向分崩离析。
Immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusion on why the other person said or did something. 立刻对他人的言行做出最坏的猜想。

A lot of times people will complain about a colleague in very specific ways — they do X, Y, or Z wrong. Or they’re awful for these reasons. They don’t realize that trust is the bigger issue.

人们常常针对同事的某些具体行为发牢骚——比如他们这样做不对，那样做也不对，或者因为某些原因表现得很差劲。但他们往往忽略了，信任的问题才是更深层次的关键所在。

Whenever you find yourself in this situation, it’s helpful to define the problem as a violation of trust. Reframing it this way incentivizes solutions — because the consequences of distrust for the company are huge. And you can approach repairing it in a more directed way, rather than giving into feelings of general dislike and withdrawal. The Trust Equation can help you decide what to do next.

七、REPAIR BROKEN TRUST

修复破碎的信任

Raimondi’s advice here is clear: Don’t wait to talk about it. Initiate a conversation today.

雷蒙迪的忠告简单明了：别犹豫，直接开始讨论。今天就开始对话吧。

“When you realize something is blocking you from working well with another person, the first step is to recognize how important the relationship is to you,” she says. “Inventory all the ways you might be able to work positively together to get more done. Imagine working with the person for the next 5-10 years. What time and energy might be wasted? This will ensure you’re going into the talk with the right priorities and perspective. Then identify which variable in the equation you want to focus your talk around to limit its scope.”

Asking to talk can be a delicate matter. You don’t want to act on every little sneaking suspicion or slight. Make sure that the rift is noticeable enough that you truly feel like your work will be impacted as a result. It’s ideal to speak in person. Don’t send a long, fraught email. If possible, get out of the office for a change of scenery on neutral ground. Walking is always good to keep things casual (and so you’re not staring each other down).

Most importantly, don’t circumvent the person by talking to their boss or colleagues. Any great manager will tell you to try resolving the issue directly first. So be gentle, speak only from your perspective, assume good will on their side, and tether your concern to a specific example so it’s not just an abstract feeling.

Here’s an example: “Hey there, I wanted to chat because I’ve felt our dynamic shift a bit recently. For example, when X happened, it had Y impact on me. Our relationship is very important to me, so I’d love to understand your experience and understand what to do differently in the future, because I think we can accomplish amazing things together.”

Telling the person you value them and their relationship is even more important if you’re the angry or injured party, says Raimondi.”I’ve seen too many managers get more and more frustrated with an employee without ever saying anything. Suddenly, it seems like the only solution is to fire them, when they could have just had a direct and candid conversation,”she says.”Often, underperformance stems from employees not feeling valued or liked by their managers.“

If you don’t talk to the person you distrust, your feelings will only become more entrenched.”This is how you end up with truly silly amounts of adversarial relationships on your team,”she says.”All the time I hear people say things like, ‘Oh, that person is just power hungry,’ or ‘there’s a land grab in my department right now’or’I hate those people in compliance — they’re making our lives a nightmare.’ They villainize their co-workers and expend all this energy instead of focusing on the company’s goals.”

If you hear someone (or yourself) saying these things, use the Trust Equation as a diagnostic to figure out what’s truly going on and cool down the negative emotions. Here are some key tips for doing this:

It’s helpful to actually be quantitative. Assign numbers to the variables in the equation. Let’s say you’re rating the person’s credibility, reliability, authenticity and self interest on a scale of 1 to 10. See where you net out (and of course keep it to yourself). This can help crystallize your thinking and remove some of the heated emotion. By assigning points, you also have to recognize what someone is doing well, not just what they’re doing poorly, too.

It can also be valuable to run separate equations for each project the person has worked on with you. Maybe they were 100% reliable on one deliverable, but only 60% on a few others. What do those projects have in common? What can you learn about how that person works so you can help them get better?

“For example, let’s say someone was only 40% reliable on three projects, and all three of them had a lot of ambiguity around timeline with a lot of moving targets,”says Raimondi.”If you’re that person’s peer or manager, you can help solve for this by making deadlines more concrete in the future. If someone has a low credibility score on several projects, think about why that might be. Maybe they needed more context that you could help provide.”

Human beings have a tendency to generalize: “This person is ALWAYS late. They NEVER turn in clean copy.” Scoring people project by project breaks this down so you recognize nuance and don’t write them off unnecessarily.

When you put these tools together, you can start constructive conversations like this: “Hey there, I just wanted to quickly chat about something that’s been on my mind. For the last two projects, I noticed that you’ve taken the credit during All Hands meetings. You definitely deserve the accolades, but I feel that I meaningfully contributed as well, and because our relationship is so important to me — I think we accomplish so much together — I wanted to mention it and hear a bit more about your experience and whether there was anything I should know. I trust you to tell me if so.”

That’s one of the most important things you can do, says Raimondi,”Always use the words explicitly: I trust you.” Even just saying that will engender more trust between you as you untangle the issue.

八、USE THE EQUATION TO BUILD YOUR CAREER

用这个方程式来打造你的职业生涯

For people who are still early in their careers — just coming out of school or climbing the ladder — the equation can be a powerful tool for making good decisions and building healthy networks.

对于职场新人——无论是刚走出校园的学子，还是正在职场上逐步攀升的奋斗者，掌握这个方程式，无疑是他们做出明智选择、构建良好人脉的利器。

The ability to quickly establish and then nurture trust over years is a vital yet often overlooked ingredient for success.

迅速建立信任，并在漫长岁月中细心呵护这份信任，这是成功的关键因素，却往往被我们忽略。

“Anyone who is 10-20 years into their career knows that the best opportunities come their way from people they trust. At a certain point, their entire careers are shaped by these relationships,” says Raimondi. “So if you’re not thinking proactively about how to instill and maintain this type of trust, you’re missing out.”

雷蒙迪指出：”在职场摸爬滚打十年到二十年的人士都明白，最宝贵的机遇往往来自我们信任的人。到了某个转折点，他们的职业生涯几乎完全由这些人际关系所塑造。所以，如果你没有主动去思考如何培养和维护这种信任，那就等于是在坐失良机。”

Here’s how she suggests applying the equation to ensure a good trajectory:

她建议这样应用这个公式来确保一个良好的发展轨迹：

1.Consider your credibility, reliability and authenticity every time you start a new role. Your goal should be to establish high scores across all these factors as soon as possible. Think actively about the ways you can demonstrate what you know, that you will do what you say you will do, and that you’re the person you say you are.

每次踏入新岗位，都要掂量自己的可信度、靠谱程度和真诚度。你的目标应该是尽早在这些方面赢得高分。要积极思考如何展示你的专业知识，证明自己能够说到做到，以及你就是你所说的那个人。

2.Consult the equation to resolve conflict. Don’t readily accept rifts with colleagues, or that you’ll never find a way to see eye to eye or that it doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t think much of your work. You don’t need to strive hard for everyone to like you, but you need to foster trust to build good working relationships. Determine whether trust is the culprit in conflicts, and run through the exercise above to heal.

参考方程式解决冲突。别轻言放弃与同事间的分歧，别认为你们永远达不成共识，也别认为别人对你的工作评价不高就无关紧要。你不必强求每个人都喜欢你，但你得建立信任，以营造良好的工作氛围。判断一下，是不是信任缺失导致了冲突，如果是，就按照上面的练习来修复关系。

3.Conduct due diligence on future employers. You might be really excited about a possible job, but it’s important that you trust the person who would be your manager, and the people who would be your colleagues. Ask questions that will point to whether these people are credible — do they know enough to be excellent at what they are doing — reliable (are they reliably responsive to you? how have they delivered reliably in past projects?) and authentic (do they vulnerably share what will be hard or less glowingly positive about the work?). Does the manager talk about the team’s accomplishments or their own accomplishments?

对未来雇主进行尽职调查。 当你为一份潜在的工作激动不已时，别忘了，信任你的未来上司和同事至关重要。提些问题，看看这些人是否值得信赖——他们是否有足够的专业知识，能否在工作中表现出色；他们是否可靠（对你的问题是否总是给予及时反馈？在以往的项目中，他们是否总是可靠地完成任务？）；他们是否真诚（他们是否能坦诚地告诉你工作中可能遇到的困难，或是不那么光鲜的一面？）。你的老板是更多地谈论团队的成功，还是只关注自己的成就？

4.When you drop the ball, lean into the weak variable. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. When you do make errors at work, anticipate having to make up some trust. Don’t try to force it to happen fast either. Be patient and accept that restoring others’ opinions takes time. And that’s okay. The equation can act as a guide for how to do this systematically. Think about which variable of the equation you violated when you made the mistake. Over-index on demonstrating that variable going forward to fix things faster.

当你掉链子时，聚焦于补强短板。人非圣贤，孰能无过。工作中出现失误，就得准备好重建信任的桥梁。别急于求成，要有耐心，理解别人对你的看法需要时间来转变，这是正常的。这个方程式可以作为一个系统性的修复指南。回想一下，你的错误违反了方程式的哪个部分。在未来的工作中，着重展示那一部分，以此来加速问题的解决。

5.Downplay self interest in negotiations. Yes, self interest is necessary in negotiations for money and promotions, but there are ways to make your argument more compelling. For instance, when asking for more equity, emphasize how you’re in it for collective success:”I want to work for the long-term to build something big.”

谈判中要少谈私利。虽然在金钱和晋升的谈判中，关注个人利益是理所当然的，但我们可以采取一些策略让你的论点更有力量。比如，当你在争取更多的股份时，可以突出你是为了团队的共同成功：“我渴望长期投入，与大家携手打造宏伟事业。”

“I’ve seen people make mistakes in these conversations, saying they need a raise because they have a mortgage or a change in personal expenses,”says Raimondi.”It’s not that bosses aren’t empathetic to that, but the better argument is one that’s connected to the good of the team and the business.”

To her, the more persuasive raise conversation goes like this: “I want to take on more responsibility — here’s what I think the team can do over the next 6 or 12 months, and how I can contribute.”Lead with the contributions you want to make to the company as a whole, she says. Then say,”If I’m able to accomplish all of that, I’d love to be bumped up to $X.”By not asking for a raise immediately, you’re deferring self interest, making it a more comfortable conversation for everyone, and clearly justifying a bump if you make good.

“You want to make your manager look good for advocating for you,” says Raimondi. “Think about how you’ll be able to boost her toward her goals when you lay out what you’re going to do to justify a raise. You have both her and your interest at heart. You’re reinforcing that you’re on this path together.” Then you can deliver on the credibility and reliability that will get you there on your timeline.

九、IN SUMMARY

总而言之

In every career, regardless of how talented or dedicated or socially intelligent you are, there will be moments of uncertainty and relationship turmoil. Instead of jumping to conclusions about what happened or feeling defensive right off the bat, consult the Trust Equation. There’s high likelihood that what you’re feeling is related to weakened or doubted trust in some respect. This framework can give you a place to start talking about or repairing the situation.

Trust is at the root of all relationships. More than anything else, it defines whether you’ll like someone or be able to do productive work with them. Yet it’s seldom discussed in any articles or advice about how to network and get ahead in one’s career. The wisdom shared above is a primer for how to make it a focal point and positive trigger for action throughout your professional life — so that you remain on the trajectory you want.

“The thing about trust is that it’s so fundamental that it’s often overlooked as the issue at hand,” says Raimondi. “If you’re able to see how important it is in every interaction, that’s a big advantage.”

雷蒙迪说：“信任之所以重要，是因为它太基础了，以至于人们常常忽视了它才是问题的关键。如果你能在每一次互动中都意识到它的重要性，那将是一个巨大的优势。”

作者：Anne Raimondi

原文：https://review.firstround.com/use-this-equation-to-determine-diagnose-and-repair-trust/

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